Future advice, I’m with my boyfriend for 7 years and are planning to BTO. However, we had a serious conversation regarding our future recently.
His “life goal” is to have a kid in future, and since he’s the only son, he’s family is also expecting him to have kids in future. But I’m not considering to have kids (at least for now) as I want to have my freedom and not be tied down by kids. In terms of personality, I’m also more adventurous and likes to travel around but he will nag at me for being dangerous and also not willing to try things out. Ofcourse I’m able to accept this difference but now the thought of our future becomes something I have to think twice.
I’m not sure if I should continue staying with him because there’ll definitely be pressure from his family in future.
I still love him but this is a concern that I have to think about as we will definitely face this challenge a few years down the road.
Here are what netizens think:
- Discuss bout your priorities with your bf. Be transparent. He should prepare his family about your priorities and you should update yours regarding his priorities. It’s better to discuss and made known, then to marry and argue daily as you both have different values and priorities. But again, if you truly love each other, you should only plan about your own happiness, not your parents.
- All these have to be trash out before marriage. I had seen my friends having problems with their husbands who refuse their share of parental responsibility other than sperm donation.
- Decide. 7 years means you are likely 25 at very least. He can easily drop the 7 years of investment into the relationship, date someone younger, and still have the kids he wants. You on the other hand, don’t have the luxury of time to restart everything again if you decide you want kids after all.
- Don’t ignore this topic anymore. He may assume you will change your mind which is dangerous. You aren’t sure, but you may be more sure of being childless as you age. Which will surely result in conflicts in the future.