I got annoyed at my boyfriend bc he wouldn’t let me shower at his place.
Me (f22) and my boyfriend (m25) have been together for about a year now but we don’t live together.
The thing about my boyfriend is that he didn’t interact with any women prior to dating me. he doesn’t have that much of a clue about what’s going on. I don’t mean to sound condescending, I know he wants to learn more about what it’s like for us (women) and understand the problems we face etc.
Anyway, we have sleepovers at his place. The reason we only have them at his place is that I’m currently living with 3 other of my friends at a 2 bedroom place.
Sleepovers happen once a week but we go out more times within the week, he has a rocky relationship with his brother and I don’t want to make things weirder (they live together). The next day we have coffee together and if we don’t have much going on we might hang out, or study, and if one of us has something going on he drops me off wherever I need to be but we never end the sleepover/ hangout without me showering at his place.
This time we were hanging out the next day and we both had plans. So we decided to shower so that I could leave. The reason why I find showering before leaving really important is that I have a serious problem with not feeling clean and I always want to make sure that there is no chance of getting a UTI since we have S several times during the sleepovers.
But this time a few minutes before going into the bathroom he asked me if I’d be okay with showering at my place and I told him I wouldn’t be going there bc I had plans like I told him before.
He kept asking and I felt like I had to say whatever. The reason why this whole thing happened is because his brother was about to shower without knowing we wanted to. I was annoyed bc I didn’t feel clean enough to go hang out with friends and I was uncomfortable not showering after S.
He then saw I was annoyed and told me he’d ask his brother because he was going out as well and planning to shower anyway and it was stupid to drop me off, come back for a shower and go out again. However the previous conversation made me feel like a burden and I didn’t want him to fight with his brother so I told him I wanted to leave. He kept trying to hug and kiss me and tell me he’d miss me.
At the car he kept trying to make small talk and hold my hand. I wasn’t rejecting him any of those times I just wasn’t eager to reciprocate.i asked him to drop me off somewhere randomly, went home took a shower and then went out. I didn’t respond to the goodnight or the good morning texts until he called. I texted back with an excuse for why I didn’t pick up.
I’m still annoyed at him bc I don’t handle not feeling clean well and I’m scared of getting a UTI. Am I overreacting here? I just don’t want to be unfair to him