Writing in for some advice because I’m feeling very lost. To give some background, my parents don’t have the perfect relationship but they get along quite ok.
My mum said that she chose to marry my dad even though he was poor, because he was responsible, honest and hardworking. So fast forward 20+ years, he has been a good father and is very good to us. However, recently he has been going out late at night, which he says is to drink with his friends to destress due to work stress. But he has also been behaving weirdly and paying alot of attention to his appearance.
I was getting too suspicious so one day i decided to look at his phone (i know its wrong) and saw that he had a whatsapp chat with a young woman, and their chat were just quite flirtatious, like asking whether she was ok because she drank alot etc. after reading it i was really hurt and disappointed because i hate cheating and would never condone it.
But i am also not sure how to move forward because my mum relies on him and i know that this will hurt her deeply. I just feel so helpless and dont know what to do.
I cant even look at him in the eye now even though i had a close relationship with him before, i dont think i can respect him anymore
Here are what netizens think:
- Dun get involved with adults affairs. Most of the time, you dun even know what’s going on between your parents and put up a facade that it’s a happy family. Keep quiet and just watch your dad gets his own karma.
- I empathize. The point here is your mom. You want to protect your mom. I recently came across a case of marital infidelity and trust me, it’s a complete mess for everyone involved. If you can stop it before it starts, you will be doing everyone a favour, including your dad, and preventing a lot of potential and unnecessary hurt. Your dad might be going through some mid-life crisis. Some men go a bit kisiao during this period and do things that they will regret.
- My advice -have a heart to heart talk with your dad when you can summon up the courage. I disagree with those who asked you to ignore and live your own life and let adults settle their own. This is YOUR family. Now that you know something, and it affects you, how can you ignore it? Your mum also may not appreciate to be kept in the dark IF this flirting behaviour turns out to be more than just a few messages. But instead of revealing it to her, talk to your dad first and tell him what you think. If he has any conscience and plans to save the marriage, your talk with him may be the wake up call he needs before things get out of hand. In the meantime, think of how you can better support your mum if things get ugly.