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Singapore
Tuesday, January 31, 2023
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DIVORCED ALREADY BUT STILL NEED EX-WIFE TO TAKE CARE MIL & SETTLE HER FUNERAL

My MIL

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My MIL passed away and I just want to get it off my chest.

Many years ago, my MIL moved in to stay with us after she suffered from a life-threatening illness. We couldn’t afford a maid so we took turns to care for her.

But about 3 years ago, my MIL confessed to me that my spouse is having an affair. She witness her bringing the guy back on many occasions and couldn’t bear keeping it a secret anymore after mths.

After that, my marriage went rock bottom and needless to say, I’m not living with my spouse or MIL anymore. However my MIL did occasional call me to chit chat. I patronise her cos I felt sorry for her (her children dun talk to her) and to be fair, she treated me well during the good days. I even took some time to visit her occasionally. I told myself it’s between her and me and nothing to do with my spouse. My MIL would occasionally apologise but what’s the point. It’s not her fault.

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6 mths ago, she had a relapse and was in critical condition.

She actually asked for me to help her instead. I see to her needs, to the annoyance of her son and my spouse, but they didn’t care much anyway. After that she passed away shortly.

In the funeral. I was the one helping out most of the coordination work with the parlour. In the wake, it was as if I’m still in good terms with my spouse. Everyone still ask me to “take care” of my spouse in this hard time where in reality we are already divorced. Her other half didn’t even attend the wake.

Now after sitting back and thinking, I do not know who or what I’m doing all this for. At the end of the day I’ve got nothing in return and only helped ungrateful people on their family issues. No word of thanks or anything. I felt very depressed that my spouse can be so heartless. I can only assumed I must have owned them so much in my previous life and this is my payback to them.

Now all I can do it’s to treat it as helping my MIL as a friend and not as a ex-SIL. That is my only comforting thought.

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