My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and we have 3 children together all under 10-years-old. We got together less than a year after he and his ex broke up because she was moving to another country for work.
They’d been together through Poly and Uni. I had no indication there were any feelings left over from that relationship, he’d led me to believe he was completely over it by the time we got together. Even after she moved back to our town I never got the idea there was anything still there.
Last night, he went to his friend’s bachelor party, because his friend is marrying my husband’s ex. He got very drunk at the bachelor party, which was a surprise because he’s never been a particularly big drinker. I had to come and pick him up. He rambled drunkenly the entire way home, and at one point mentioned he was depressed his ex was getting married because he still had some hope they might get back together.
He admitted to me that he settled for me after their relationship ended. He said if he’d known she was coming back to town he would have waited for her, and he wished he had waited. He assured me he does like me and he’s happy with me, but he sees her as the one who got away and he regrets that, and if he could go back and do it again he would have waited for her and tried to rekindle the relationship rather than getting together with me. I didn’t say anything, because I knew if I tried to speak I would probably cry.
He either doesn’t remember that conversation (or most of the latter part of the evening for that matter), or is too embarrassed to bring it up. I have no idea where to go from here. My husband basically just admitted he wishes he didn’t marry me, and he only did because he thought he’d never have a chance to get back with his ex.
I love him so much and I thought he felt the same, but it seems I was very much mistaken.