Unlike most, this happened today.
Last night, my wife decided she’d finish the vodka that had been sitting in the kitchen for a few weeks. She’s normally not a heavy drinker, but she’s 41. I figured she knew her limits by now, and this usually means I’ll get some nookie later.
By 10, we’re doing karaoke, so I knew she was feeling pretty good. She’s swaying a little bit and almost fell over a few times, but she didn’t seem too bad off and was starting to get a little handsy – a good sign my night would end well.
By midnight, we’re watching Peacemaker when she excuses herself. Then, I heard the sound of her retching in the bathroom. Being a good husband, I wanted to make sure she was OK and went to check on her.
Opening the door, I’m welcomed to the sight of her leaning over the toilet puking so hard, it broke the seal on her o-ring releasing a torrent of foul fluid rolling down her legs and making a spot on the floor.
Needless to say, my boner reversed course so far, it became an oyster.
Here are what netizens think:
- Hey, it could have been worse, she could have been vomiting so hard she broke the o-ring of the toilet.
- I’ve had to clean a similar mess before, it’s funny now because I just threw out the rug.
- She threw it in the shower. I think she should have just went there to begin with.
- Whenever I puke, I sit on the toilet and puke into the bathroom trash. I’d far rather mop up spilled puke than S…
- Number of drinks required to make my wife super fun and handsy: 5. Number of drinks required to make my wife turn into a vomiting mess: 5.1