It all happened so suddenly and I still can not make sense of what I did or didn’t do it for that matter. I’m engaged to my fiance who I’ve been with for 6 years. We’re planning to get married in 2023. I feel suffocated and unable to breathe properly.
There’s this coworker who started giving me rides home after my car was damaged in an accident. He and I had a somewhat friendly relationship that most coworkers said it was a little too friendly even though I never felt anything towards him.
I mean I noticed his attraction towards me but I never gave him a reason to think I’m interested. Like ever!.
This happened 2 weeks ago. He was giving me a ride home at 6pm and for some reason, he was quiet the entire time.
He kept looking at the road ahead without even speaking or looking in my way. I made a comment on the weather to break the awkward silence, and he said that it was hot from where he was sitting.
I didn’t know what to say. Few mins of silence and he started moving his arm towards me. He then placed his hand on my knee (I was wearing jeans at the time) I freaked out internally but froze in my spot.
Next thing he started rubbing my knee which sent a weird sensation down my spine. He still kept his eyes ahead but then he started moving his hand to my thigh.
I don’t know why but I didn’t stop him. His hand went all the way up to the top of my hip then he moved it closer to my private area.
Now I don’t know why I did this but instead of grabbing his hand and moving it away, I started widening my thighs to allow his hand to go deeper and touch my private area. I feel horrible that I felt turned on in that moment, don’t know what possessed me to do this but I just let him touch me down there and rub it a couple of times.
I couldn’t even breathe I wanted to open the door and run but a part of me actually enjoyed and wanted it. This all stopped after we reached an intersection.
We both avoided looking or talking to each other. He dropped me off and I got inside still unable to process what happened but I lost it in the bathroom and started crying.
My fiance had no idea why I was crying and I couldn’t dare tell him. I was planning on letting it go but it’s been weighing on me and I can’t decide if I should tell him.
I hate myself, I’m disgusted with myself right now and just wanna go back and undo all that. I feel like I broke his trust and hurt him even though he doesn’t know.