My girlfriend owns the house and brings it up in EVERY disagreement we have, and I’m so over it
Today was yet another occurrence of this. My girlfriend is someone that doesn’t understand (or maybe just doesn’t care) that people might need more sleep than her. If she wakes up at 6 am on a Saturday morning, everyone else should too. Today was one of those days. I asked her, gently, if she would mind if I slept until 7 – she could just go out to the couch and watch something on her iPad with her headphones.
In her mind, this was totally unacceptable. I had to get up too. We had nothing planned for the day, so it’s not like there was some hurry to get up. She simply can’t accept that I might need to sleep longer than her. So I got up, but was in a grumpy mood. She noticed and commented on it. I said something about how maybe I didn’t want to get up at 6 am on a Saturday and that if she could just let me sleep in a bit longer I might wake up in a better mood.
So, like she does every time we have any sort of disagreement, she tells me, “Well, it’s my house. If you don’t like it, you can move out.”
We’ve lived together for over a decade. I’ve pointed out, many times over those years, that it bothers me that I can’t disagree or even make a remotely negative comment about ANYTHING without her bringing up the house. She still does it, every time, over something as minor as a sweet wrapper left on the floor – “You’re making a mess of MY house! You should move out!”
It’s to the point where I feel like a robot sometimes, like I can’t say anything bad about anything ever because I know she has that line ready and I’m so sick of hearing it, especially because she doesn’t even really mean it. Because the few times I have said, “Okay, I’m leaving then” she always immediately backpedals and starts love bombing. She tells me she can’t live without me, blah blah. Things are good for a week, then it’s back to, “My house, move out” over every minor issue.
Later this year she has a trip planned to visit with her relatives overseas. I’m staying home (well I guess I should say, in her house) to take care of the dogs. I intend to do that… while also packing up my shit. When she comes home, I want to be gone. I think I will just block her on everything, but it is tempting to send her a final message first like: “I finally realized you were right. It’s your house, so enjoy it in solitude.”