My parents want to know where and whom I’m going out with
I just want to know if it’s normal that me in my twenties is getting questioned by my parents when I’m going out.
They want to know about who I’m going out with(their gender, relationship with me etc), where I’m going, time I’m coming back.
They get mad when I don’t let them know I’m going out even tho I have told them via mouth before hand and insist I send a message in a “home sweet home” WhatsApp group.
I get pretty uncomfortable about being questioned all the time even tho I have nothing to hide, however I find it difficult to speak up about it since parents will just pull out the “you are my child” card or just simply overpowering me with their identity of a parent.
how old do I need to be to be able to get my own house?
As a student still studying I work on weekends and school holiday but still less than $20k now that I’m 21, I feel uncomfortable when requiring them to pay for my uni fees which is about 6k per term but I don’t rly see a way around it.
Netizens’ comments
- Sia lah when I go out I just tell my parents “bye” then they just “k”.
- for me its the same but my parents will usually take note when i inform them im going out, so that part idk how to help u with. maybe just track back ur message from the whatsapp group as proof that u weren’t lying?
as for wanting to know what u are up to how i see it is it’s just for consolation on their part. they wanna know where u are to be more certain that u are safe. who knows if anything happens also they’ll be able to find u from ur location and people u were last with. and ofc sg is very safe and all, but there’s always a small possibility. - I think this kind of scenario is not that uncommon here. My own parents don’t do that anymore, but they used to tell me stuff like don’t come back so late etc until I was around 22-23 years old.
My partners parents still do this even tho he’s nearing 30. Like they will ask where he’s going, who he’s going out with, what time he’s coming home, why everyday come back so late (to them 8pm is considered late). Sometimes they will call him mid afternoon and ask him to drop everything immediately and rush home to buy dinner for them.
A lot of it seems to be the filial piety culture that is embedded into most Singaporean families and parents feel their kids are indebted to them just because they brought them up. Then there’s also the whole “my house my rules” thing so parents feel they have the right to intrude on your privacy as long as you are staying in their house.