Back in 2010 I met this girl, after she followed my brother home from school. I was 7 and she was 9 years old when we met. We became best friends fast; we would hang out every single day. After about six years we ended up dating and it lasted for about 8 months. She broke up with me by saying “I don’t like girls anymore”. After our breakup we continued being friends and she started to date my big brother. At this time, I was 13, she and my bro were 15.
From 2016 to 2020 I was in the middle of her and my brother’s relationship. She told me way too much about everything and every time they had a fight, both of them would talk shit about one another to me. It was usually up to me to help them settle their disputes. I started to slowly realize what bad person this woman was. I realized that during our friendship she had blackmailed me to stay friends with her, had used me to get to my brother and just all together manipulated me.
During the summer of 2021 I had had enough. I cut her out of my life as much as possible. After that she stared daggers at me any time, she would see me. As more time went on, I started to realize more and more things about her and my past. It got to a point where it would physically hurt to see her. Nowadays even her smell can trigger a panic attack.
My bro is a lot like me. A marshmallow, no backbone in sight. He says he’s in love with her, even though he has admitted that he could get someone better. He has almost no friends and I rarely get to see him. I have no hate for my brother because I’m sure she is doing the same things to him as she did to me. We grew up super close, but every year he’s with this woman, he grows more distant, and I’m afraid I’ll lose him.
Between last Christmas and the new year’s shit really hit the fan. My bro (now 21y) came to my (then 18y) room and asked me why I hate my ex (now 21) so much. I told him everything, the manipulation, the blackmail, I even showed screenshots of her being mean to me. I broke down in front of him pouring my heart out and he listened in silence while comforting me. A few days later however, my ex came to my room. She stood at my room door and told me that we had to talk. She cornered me in my room, making it impossible for me to get out.
My brother told her everything I told him. And now she was screaming at me about how I was a liar. This was the biggest fight I’ve ever been in. We were shouting for over an hour. She accused me of being obsessed with her because I had some screenshots, told me that she never manipulated me nor my brother, that things from our childhood should stay in our childhood and that it was actually me who used her. During this fight I told her multiple times to leave my room. For the longest time she didn’t. She eventually left my room only because I refused to talk anymore.
After the fight I had a panic attack. Worst one in my life. My big sister (F23) came to comfort me.
My family was a mess after this. My whole family (parents and siblings) have taken my side after hearing what happened. My big sister and mom hate my ex and want nothing to do with her and my dad inhibited my ex from ever coming back to his house, which is the house me and my brother live in. This caused my brother to never be home, because she couldn’t be there. Right after the shit hit the fan, my brother blamed me for everything. This has destroyed our relationship. We haven’t talked in over half a year now and I barely see him anymore.
I don’t want to lose my big bro but I feel like I’m out of options. I want them to break up, and I want my ex out of my life. What could I do to make them break up and fix my relationship with my brother? What can I do?