WAH PIANG EH! I really cannot tahan this boy anymore, my blood pressure confirm hit the ceiling already!
You look at him—SMU student leh! Every day carry laptop, talk about “finance,” talk about “global markets,” but his brain is actually made of tau hu (tofu) or what? Study local uni so what? Book smart but zero street smart logic. I spend so much money on his school fees, but he go Siam Diu (Thai Disco) and become a total Ji Hong!
Every night come back smell like cheap perfume and Tiger beer. I ask him, “Boy, why you go there?” He tell me he found “true love.” KWA LAN LA! True love your head! You are Ji Hong until poor, your brain already fly go Thailand, don’t even know what is logic anymore.
That girl there, she call you “Teerak” (darling), she say you are her “handsome prince”—you think she really got “feels” for you ah? You think she love your personality? No lah! She love your wallet only! You think you very steady, buying towers, throwing flower garland like you are some Crazy Rich Asian. End up what? Your bank account empty, then you come back ask me for “subsidies”? GONG KIA! (Stupid kid!)
I tell you, these Siam Diu girls, they are the Masters of Facade
Their job is to make you feel like a king for two hours so you can pay for their Bungalow in Udon Thani. They lie to you until the cow come home, then once your wallet flat, they don’t even know your name. They see you like a walking ATM, not a boyfriend!
SMU teach you how to calculate ROI (Return on Investment) right? You go calculate the ROI of one flower garland vs. the “I love you” she say to the next ten uncles after you leave. The math don’t add up, bodoh! But you—you Ji Hong until you don’t care, defy all logic, like she put some charms on you like that.
A girl with a fake nose, fake nei nei and push-up bra say “I miss you,” you immediately go ATM withdraw money. My heart really DULAN until cannot.
I give you 24 years of life experience, you don’t want. A girl with a fake nose and push-up bra say “I miss you,” you immediately go ATM withdraw money. My heart really DULAN until cannot.
You better wake up your idea, if not next time you grad, you not working in CBD, you working as the guy cleaning the tables at the disco!