My dad is a business owner, self made man. Growing up, he raised my younger sister and I to be capable and independent. My dad absolutely detest “useless” (acc to him) people and this translated into our upbringing. He has been scarred by useless children of his rich business associates. Long story short, only 2 points are applicable to this story.
1. He will cut us off financially when we turn 21.
We can still stay at home rent free, but nothing else. We don’t have to give parents monthly allowance coz acc to him, the amount is peanuts and he would rather we use it to be independent. If we retain and did not graduate uni by 21, too bad, we will have to pay the remaining school fees on our own.
2. If we are not 100% independent by 30, he will write us out of the will.
Independent means having our own home (rented or bought doesn’t matter) and having enough money to feed ourselves.
As a results, I worked by butt off growing up, I chose not to go to uni to work earlier and ended up studying part time for my degree. I studied a course that I did not like, but it’s practical. I bto-ed with my husband and now, before 30, we have our own house, kid and pretty good life. I sacrificed, did what was smart rather than what I liked, during my early 20s while my friends were enjoying “uni life”.
My younger sister will be graduating uni this year (graduated actually). She chose her course based on “passion” and now have difficulties finding a job. She enjoyed her uni life a bit too much and took on a study loan when she turned 21, and delayed her graduation a few times. Therefore, now she has no money, in debt and no job. There’s no way she will be able to fulfil the independence criteria by the age of 30.
She went back to ask dad for financial help. Dad refused at first and then said he can help only if I approve, as I followed the rules. Changing the rules halfway will be an insult to the hard work and sacrifices I made.
Should I give my approval?
PS, I decided against it. People need to know the consequences of their actions, especially if this has been discussed since birth.