I hooked up with a former student during the hardest year of my life and it’s turned into the happiest, healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.
We started it as a physical thing a few years ago. I (late 30sF) ran into him (mid 20sM) at the gym 5 years after he was in my class.
I was separated from my now ex, 3 kids, down and a little overweight. We worked out together over a year before anything physical happened.
Talked about everything. We both developed a crush. Eventually we made a deal for just physical intimacy which I hoped would solve the crush.
He was amazing in bed. I still fantasize about the first time. We tried to be very non-romantic but we just fell in love. It was hard though, and neither of us really wanted to be in love.
When I got officially divorced (it was a long, tedious process) we broke it off because we both thought the place we were in life was too different and I felt like too much of a mess to date.
I went to therapy a lot and focused on my kids. He moved away. We didn’t talk for a few months because we were in love and it hurt to talk. We tried dating other people.
A little over a year ago he was in town and we agreed to hang out as friends, with mutual friends. We stayed late talking. Could not resist touching.
We tentatively agreed to try again and this time we didn’t pretend it wasn’t a relationship. It’s still hard sometimes but but considering I am older, make way more money, am way more secure in my career, have kids… it’s honestly pretty easy.
We talk about everything, we put each other first, we’re patient, we apologize if we mess up, we have a level of intimacy that I didn’t know existed.
I can’t decide if I’m delusional or lucky sometimes but I’m so very happy and I feel loved.