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Friday, August 19, 2022
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MOTHER THREATENS TO DISOWN DAUGHTER IF SHE DON’T LET HER STAY TOGETHER

I am 28 this year and I am due to give birth in 5 weeks.

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My husband works nights. My mom who lives 25/30 min has offered to come to stay with us for a couple of weeks after the baby’s born to help the transition.

She already has a tendency to put herself first in most situations and considers it a big deal when she doesn’t make something about her. (An example being her constantly praising herself for weeks after my wedding for making the day about me and my husband, not her.)

Well, I took her up on her offer to help out even though I’m definitely nervous about her being here constantly. We don’t have the best relationship and I spent most of my childhood being her parent (my dad enables her).

Anyway, we were talking the other day and I mentioned that we needed to get an air mattress for the office (my husband and I share)since we don’t have a guest bedroom.

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My mom said that she had a twin bed frame and mattress that she wanted to put up in the home office instead, wanting to rearrange our house to make it fit.

I haven’t said a direct no because I need her help and upsetting her in the smallest way could get that help completely withdrawn or turn into passive-aggressive comments directed at me for the next decade. My husband said “f no” to the bed and so have most of my friends.

I have one who is telling me that my mom isn’t being unreasonable because she’s helping us out. I’m so used to being gaslit and manipulated by my parents that I can’t tell what’s a reasonable request or not.

I finally opened my mouth and told her that I was not comfortable with her bringing her whole bed + frame here and we had a fight.

She then threatens to bring the bed or she won’t even come to see her grandson and also the deal to help take care of the child is off. She started going on saying that she wants to sell her home and come stay with us. Which I know my husband would not like the idea.

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The argument escalated further until she wants to disown me, etc and some nonsense.

Normally people have fights with mothers-in-law but I fight with my own mother.

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