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Thursday, February 22, 2024


Foreign wife refuses to work and keeps requesting for more money


My wife is a foreigner. Before we ROM in 2021, she threatened to leave me if I refused to marry her. I told her I am not financially stable as I have to support a bedridden father (with no savings or insurancd of his own) and my retired elderly mother. I agreed to ROM because I did not want to lose her.

Ever since my wife moved here in early 2021, my dad’s condition became worse and require a live-in helper. My wife came at a time when the border had restricted opening. She got a fever in the quarantine and was admitted to NCID for 5 days. The bill came up to more than 5k.

My take home pay is less than 4k. I give about 1.5k to my parents. My HDB mortgage is more than 1.1k a month. I spend the rest on bills, insurance, living expenses for both of us. My monthly budget is really tight.

However, my wife does not seem motivated to work. She took up a job which she quit in less than a week, and another job in less than 2 months. She kept all the money she earned to herself and continued to rely on me for support.


She has stomach and indigestion issues, which she claims is so bad that she is unable to work. I brought her to do an endoscopy at the recommendation of the GP, and was unable to claim insurance as the insurance company says its a pre-existing issue. I incurred 6k for her medical expenses. The results show was nothing wrong with her stomach.

She went jobless for a few more months. When the border opened in June, I agreed to let her go back to her parents home first. She went back to her country and did a colonoscopy as it was expensive to do so. The results show that her colon is fine.

She claims that her indigestion issues were much improved after returning to her country. She was able to work on her parents farm without issues.

My wife has been pestering me to meet her parents since last year. I agreed to meet him next week. Now, her dad is demanding me to meet him and pay a dowry of 8k to 12k for the customary wedding. I asked my wife to negotiate the price down and she said she can’t because she needs to save her parents face. I agreed but asked her to find a job once she comes back with me to Singapore. I told her that she has to find a job to support her parents because I don’t have the means to do so. Her parents had asked me to pay for other things aside from the dowry.

That upset her and she said she wants a separation. She said she can work in her father’s farm and make money. I am really puzzled why she refuses to look for a job here.


I am really stressed up with money and yet she does not seem to care. My wife has a bad temper and picks a quarrel over the smallest issue. I have been giving in to her on everything and this is making me very unhappy.

Should I divorce her?

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