I had never dated *finished* until the night my friend of 6 years and I had this tension around us that could be cut with a knife. Blame the things we never said… or the extra alcohol.
We were tipsy, not drunk. I take consent extremely seriously so we half-jokingly played trivia about each other before making out and eventually engaging in oral.
He ate me out so good I lost my voice. Returned the favour and he was reacting to every bob of my head. I can still feel his fingertips caress my face while he muttered words of praise. We then cuddled, showered each other in kisses and fell asleep.
This all happened at his place. Not a shitty hotell, not the back of a car. He did things right. But the next morning he was cold and curt towards me. Sent indirect about me needing to leave cause he had to go to work. Didn’t have an issue with that cause we’re super close and I know his schedule, but it was odd that he didn’t even drop me off nor offer me a measly cup of coffee. Left hungry, dirty and very confused. Walk of shame, yup.
Texted him to meet up for weekly lunch together. Left on reading. Did not pick up my 2 calls and I will not call him a third for I rather die than beg.
But we always had an amazing bond, endless love for each other and, well… he was my first. I know that means nothing to men but it did mean something to me.
Have I been used? Is he conflicted about his feelings? A common friend says we’re in the middle of skinny love (both parties wanna date but neither makes a move) yet my efforts debunk that! He’s the one running away after getting some honey.
Here are what netizens think:
- Honestly, I (f) once hooked up with a really good friend of mine, regretted it, and then was distant towards him/tried to act like nothing happened because I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything further. My friend definitely seemed interested in a relationship/seeing where things went and I felt like a horrible human being because I just wanted to forget we hooked up at all. It took a while (years), but we are actually good friends again and both of us have partners who suit us way better. Sorry to put it bluntly, but sometimes friends hook up and it means nothing to the other person.
- I don’t think you were used. I think he was just relaxed enough to act on what he wanted in the moment but now regrets it.
- I would not try for some big confrontation. Hang back a bit and then contact him in a normal way. “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on with you but you have a lot of my stuff and I’d like access to it. I wish we could talk but if you can’t handle it right now then let me get my things so I can use them and we can talk whenever you’re ready “..
- This happened to me when I hooked up with a close friend. I called and asked him for reassurance a few day later, that our friendship was not going to be affected by the night. He freaked out, said something like, “I thought you’d be more cool about it.”