27.6 C
Singapore
Saturday, August 20, 2022
Ads

MAN USED TO LIKE MEN, DREAMT OF WOMEN & WANTS TO TRY CHANGING

I could like woman too. I’m coming from an extremely conservative and homophobic family. Since I’m 11 I experienced the weird male attraction. I started to aim after the male attention because it was the only approval I got.

Advertisements

For my body, my appearance, and my “adult” behaviour. I got groomed so bad, that I just recently understood (I’m 24 now) why I felt secure around people who treated me badly and left me with guilt because “I could have known better”.

Till this day I am struggling so hard with setting boundaries and defending them, it’s ridiculous. But also understandable for me (therapy actually did something).

I never really had any closer interaction with woman. For the longest time my internalized misogyny caused just more pain for me and other woman. I got jealous so fast and I always feared that other woman would take away my place in a group.

That I’m going to be unimportant. This happened in the past with my stepmother, who wanted me out of their family and in the end succeeded. I ended up being alone without my parents and a lot of men took advantage of that.

Over the last month I frequently thought about women and how it would be. I don’t like to label myself, I just keep every option and see what’s about to come.

I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with a woman. I don’t think so. Last night I had a dream. I was getting close with a woman. We didn’t have S but I was touching her body and I really liked that. Now the thoughts of a woman are again fresh out of the oven. Maby in a couple of month, when I’m a bit more stable and grounded,

I’ll give it a try. Of course while being open and honest what I’m expecting and looking for. I’m looking for an experience.

My last relationships sucked. One was manipulative, the other one didn’t care about using rubber that much. I wanna see something new. My whole life I got restricted or restricted myself.

Just some thoughts. I’m going through a tough time currently and trying to find my own path.

- Advertisement -
- Advertisement -
Latest News

APPLE ADMITS MAJOR SECURITY RISK FOR iPhone, ipads and iMacs, HACKER CAN TAKE FULL CONTROL

Apple has warned that the company's iPhones, iPads and imacs have serious security risks that could give attackers complete...
- Advertisement -