Walao eh, you ever just sit down at a hawker centre, looking at your $6.50 minced meat noodles—which used to be $4.50, by the way—and realize that from the moment you popped out into this world at KKH or Mount Alvernia, the “billing department” was already standby?
In Singapore, we don’t just breathe air; we breathe taxable oxygen. It’s the ultimate “welcome to the world” package. You think you’re free? Don’t be naive, lah. Getting born here is basically signing a lifelong subscription model where “Unsubscribe” isn’t an option until you’re six feet under at Choa Chu Kang (and even then, there’s probably a maintenance fee).
The “Cradle to Grave” Levy
From the time you are a kaki nang, you are already contributing. Your parents buy you diapers? GST. You get your first job and see your gross salary? CPF (which is just “future-tax” for your own house) and then the real kicker: Income Tax. You work so hard until peng san, OT until 10 PM, just so you can move into a higher tax bracket and give more back to the gahmen. It’s like playing a game where every time you level up, the boss takes a bigger cut of your loot.
Everything is “Plus Plus”
And don’t even get me started on the “unavoidable” hidden ones. You want to drive a car? Please, that’s not a vehicle; it’s a luxury tax on wheels. Between the COE prices that cost more than a literal house in other countries and the ERP gantries that “beep” your soul away every time you go to work, you’re basically paying for the privilege of sitting in traffic.
Even if you don’t drive, you cannot escape. You want to “healing” and go for a nice dinner? 10% Service Charge + 9% GST. Suddenly your $50 meal becomes $60+. You want to drink a beer to forget your stress? Sin Tax. You want to buy a house to hide from the world? Stamp Duty. ### The Kiam Siah Reality The irony is that we are world-class at complaining about it, yet we are the most “law-by-law” tax payers. We calculate our IRAS returns with the precision of a NASA scientist, hoping to find that one $1,000 relief for “Parental Support” or “Course Fees.” We are obsessed with the “Nuclear Plan” of tax evasion—legal evasion, I mean—like topping up the Retirement Sum Topping-Up (RSTU) scheme just to shave a few hundred bucks off the bill.
But at the end of the day, whether you are a CEO in a Sentosa cove bungalow or a grab driver, the system is rigged for efficiency. It’s the Singaporean circle of life: You work to pay tax, and you pay tax so the country works. It’s unavoidable, one way or another. You can run, you can hide, but the pink IC always finds its way back to the taxman. Sian half die, but what to do? Bo bian, just pay lor!