My Girlfriend (24f) just confessed to me (26m) that she’s always faked her coming. How can I support her better?
Today, my girlfriend of 6 years came up to me and politely confessed something that shook me up quite a bit.
She mentioned that she’s never finihed during penetration, although cl!toral stimulation does the trick for her.
We’ve lived together for the entirety of our relationship and had a pretty active and open sex life, experimented and tried new things every now and then and I believed that we’ve always been open and honest with communication in bed. She would always mention that she’s close to coming during penetration and finish with an appearance of satisfaction/relief.
I think it hurt quite a bit when I found out that she had been lying about it and never quite felt comfortable sharing this with me, because frankly the fact that she can’t finish during penetration is not even close to a deal breaker for me.
In hindsight, I would have been more attentive to what she enjoys and focused on that instead of what can’t happen. What bothers me is that it took her 6 years to talk to me about this.
I know that she’s had a rough history with toxic relationships in the past and probably felt a lot of shame that prevented her from talking about it, but I feel like my trust in her has been affected quite a bit. We’ve also spoken about both of us getting individual therapy to work through some of our respective past experiences but neither of us has ever taken the first step to actually getting help.
I guess what I’m really looking for is advice on how to better support her and myself + process all of this because i don’t feel prepared at all at the moment.