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Saturday, March 2, 2024


Hi everyone, pls give me some advice and perspective. My parents (esp my Mum) disallows my boyfriend to stay overnight at my place. For context, i’m 25F and my bf is over 30.


We’ve been together for some time already and he meets my parents quite often as he always sends me back home, and we also have family dinner together at my house sometimes.

We already BTO-ed and we went on a 2 weeks overseas trip together (approved by my parents). However my mum said that he can only stay overnight here after we ROM. Is this reasonable and whats the logic? Can go overseas, cannot stay overnight together in SG at my house?

I’ve asked her why but she just said its “inappropriate”….. I am puzzled. Appreciate your views and thanks in advance!

Here are what netizens think:

As parent, I don’t set this rule as I think time has changed. My daughter bf being allowed my girl to stay over at his house, likewise I also allow him to stay over at my place as I know his parents and their concerns too. We treat their son like our son and likewise they treat our daughter as theirs. Our both side parents make unspoken consensus do as we as parents don’t make inconveniences for the couples.I don’t use old traditional values to overrule them n us. When the young couple dating , especially after sending my daughter home , say 12midnight or 1 am, we should appreciate him to send our daughter back home safely, he stays so far and tired too, no mrt no bus, grab is very expensive. As parents we should try to understand that and just let him stay over and I think it is ok.


Money is hard to earn too, things are expensive, save that money on food or on necessary things like gifts better right . Help the young couple to save unnecessary money sometimes will also improve their relationship as an understanding parents ourselves. What’s the point of talking traditional values when society has changed so much.

Being empathy towards new gen couples are important whether they work or fail in r/s, attaching unnecessary traditional old rules are actually causing rifts and conflicts between young loving couples, making future plannings for themselves the road is rocky. We should value one another as understanding towards each others feelings, family and needs.

Parents: don’t say to your kids is your home or and succumb them to your authority word…. In the end these words hurt. No “home” is a perfect home without your kids too. Everyone contribute to a home with love, not a home just talking about money and face.

My 2cts: just a stay over, no big deal. See things on brighter side. Next morning, greet each other a good morning with a smiley face, go kopithiam and have breakfast like loti prata or runny eggs with toast n coffee, what’s so big deal with a “think too much of face” ? , next day is about working or studying and work hard for better tomorrows.

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