Boyfriend broke up over my spending
My boyfriend of 6 months have financial difficulties. His father passed away with debts which he and his sister have to repay. While I am from an average family.
We are both poly grads. He went straight to work while I decided to further my studies while working part time.
I know he struggled with money so I usually AA our spendings or even pay a little more of the share. If I suggest anything like movies, I will pay for the tickets coz I got the App. We went to a restaurant once and after noticing that it stressed him out, I always find food court or fast food to dine in.
One day, while hanging out at my place, my shopping came. It’s a 2nd hand branded purse I ordered online. When he saw it, his face changed and he seems moody.
That night after he left, he sent me a very long message about how I am so spendthrift and that the cost of the bag could have helped him with few months of his debts payments.
I explained that it’s a present for myself for my birthday and also why should he get angry over my spendings? It’s not like I asked him to buy it for me! After trying to calm him down, he called and snapped at me. I don’t get why but he just keeps harboring that the amount of money could help him for a few months to even longer! How can I watch him slogging for money while I just wave money away on an accessory. He also mentioned about my spending habits – like eating food court, fast food (usually McDonald’s) and going out for movies and to malls.
I couldn’t calm him down over the phone and is honestly scared by his rage. I eventually cut the line and then texted him to break up.
A few days after the event, he came to me and apologised and say he doesn’t want to break up. He explained that he cannot spend like me for the next few years and wished I can be there for him. I told him I never expected him to spend money on me or out of his comfort zone, so he shouldn’t be concerned about my spendings too. But it seems like he cannot really understand. I just walked away because I honestly didn’t know how to move forward from here if we ever get back together.
What do you guys think? I still have feelings for him but am not very willing to change my lifestyle for him. It’s a little exaggerated to me that he sees eating at food courts and fast food as “luxury”.