My GF just revealed she used to be a “serial cheater”
My girlfriend (F40) of 8 months revealed to me last night, rather casually, that she used to be a “serial cheater” for years; and cheated on every partner she ever had until a couple of years ago.
She said at the time she was remorseless, but eventually came to a point she decided it wasn’t conducive to a healthy relationship or her self esteem and decided to stop.
I (M38) have always struggled with trust issues my whole life for a variety of reasons I won’t go into. She seemed to brush this off as little more than an anecdote, but I gotta tell y’all, I’m shook.
I’d like to believe she’s changed and learned from this to become someone who would never do this again.
But if I’m being honest, I definitely have less faith in her that I did 24hrs ago. Any advice on how to much past this, or discuss it further would be appreciated.
Netizens’ comments
- Did she mention anything about understanding the impact of the cheating on her ex’s? About hurt feelings and broken trust? Because that’s conspicuously missing here.
- When people show you who they are, pay attention. She told you what she is capable of, now you know.
- This! She is warning you, without warning you. Not saying she is intending to cheat but so you’re not surprised if she ends up doing so.
- That’s the absolute worst “job reference” one could have. That’s like telling an employer “I stole from every company I ever worked for, but stopped cos self esteem and I wanted a better job”
- I’d have to move on. Especially the “remorseless” part. Every relationship hits rocky times. I’d be concerned that if she’s not happy overall or she’s really mad at you, she’ll use cheating to get back at you.
- Damn she’s treating it like a fun fact lol. Also you stated to having trust issues, this is a real bad match up, a serial cheater paired with a person with trust issues. Not to mention she did say she felt no remorse being a serial cheater, and it only ended a couple of years ago. That’s still kinda recent. Maybe talk more at length and see if she actually realizes what was wrong with her actions and what’s she has done to counter it ever since she stopped. If there is no genuine action on her part and it’s just treated as an after thought that tells you all you need to know.