I have been dating my bf I met on Tinder for 4.5yrs. During the initial phase of seeing each other (non exclusively), I was also seeing another guy (who had a car and often bring me to nice restaurants and offered to fetch me home after dates). I openly told these guys about the other guys that I was seeing and not rushing into a relationship.
So my bf often got anxious whenever I go on dates with other guys and wanted me to be exclusive to him. He would text me everyday and always making plans to meet up. We meet almost every other day since our first date and I began to like him. One day after going on a date with another guy and the guy about to send me home, my bf insisted that I don’t sit my date’s car. He insisted to “fetch” me home by booking a GRAB since he doesn’t have a car.
After seeing his sincerity, I decided to be with him out of the 3 guys I dated. We clicked better in terms of conversations and I like that we share common interest including food and bubble teas.
I also told him that for future dates, we could stick to commuting via public transport as it was unnecessary for him that to take mrt to meet me then book grab to send me home then take mrt again to go to his home.
But after 2nd year together, especially entering the 3rd year, I began to feel that I was taken for granted. He no longer love me and want to go out on dates with me. He is just a lazy person who refuses to do anything everyday.
Oh ya, I moved in with him during CB because I couldn’t bear being separated from him. I still remember I missed him so much that we decided to meet at Fairprice lol.
I wanted to do things together with him at home, such as cooking, dalgona coffee and diy bbt, but he is always lazy. Then we continued staying together after CB but he just got lazier. He doesn’t even do chores and change bedsheets.
When he wakes up in the morning, he doesn’t brush his teeth. He will just sit at the sofa, scroll FB, Insta, TikTok and play games. Even when it’s lunch time, he still don’t bother to ask me out for lunch. He is just abnormal and doesn’t get hungry.
When I offered to cook, he would sometimes angry that I made the house dirty. I always clean up after that but he still didn’t like that the house gets Smokey. I grow up appreciating my mom’s home cook, I don’t know why he doesn’t. I asked him why he is so unappreciative, I feel a lot of men would have wanted their gf to cook homecooked meals for them. He said he just doesn’t appreciate food and hated eating. I felt very cheated as this was not the person he said he was when we were dating. On our first few dates he always made me believe that we shared the same passion and hobbies. Whenever I ask him out on easy and cheap dates such as cycling or hiking , he’s always disinterested and just wanna stay at home. When I suggest holidays, he would say he want to go on cruise where he can sit and relax.
I have expressed this to him several times but he is still like this. I said his laziness is too extreme that even when he is bored of me, he is even too lazy to break up with me. One day he just hurt my feelings and say “I only want sx and you don’t give that to me” so it got me crying. He apologised after that.
Before the relationship, I told him beforehand that I am a virgin and that my second ex cheated on me because I refused to do pre-marital sx with him. He said he understood and willing to wait till after marriage. But then now he behave like that. He said, “u try ask around any Singaporean men willing to date you for 4 years without sx. That’s friend. Not gf bf”.
We have had arguments over (other things) where he left me crying cause I felt like he didn’t give a shit about this relationship. Then he often promise to change but then fall back to be the same person later.
Now ever since that “sx talk” he try to be nice to me again but I don’t know how long he can stay like this before being ignorant again. I don’t know if I should end this and find someone else. Or is it too much to ask for premarital sx today?