It was my first year in university and I had just started a new relationship with my then-boyfriend. We were so in love and I felt like nothing could break us apart. That all changed one day when he told me that he had to go for his National Service (NS) reservist. I was sad that we had to part, but I knew it was something he had to do.
Little did I know that my lack of understanding towards his reservist would be the start of a whole new problem in our relationship. I was clueless as to why he had to stay in for his NS reservist and I thought that it was a waste of his time.
I started to accuse him of going to Geylang to look for other girls instead of staying in for his reservist.
I didn’t understand why he had to stay in for his reservist and I was frustrated with the whole thing. It seemed like he was always away and I was left feeling neglected and lonely. I started to think that he was just using the reservist as an excuse to go out and have fun without me.
My lack of knowledge about the importance of NS reservists and my refusal to accept the fact that he had to stay in for his reservist was the root cause of our arguments.
I was so consumed with my own feelings that I failed to understand or empathise with what he was going through.
My boyfriend would patiently explain to me that NS reservist is an important part of his service and that he had to stay in for it. He would explain to me that it was not only a way for him to hone his skills, but it was also a way for him to bond with his fellow servicemen.
He tried his best to make me understand, but I was still adamant that he was going out to look for other girls instead of staying in for his reservist.
I was so consumed with my own feelings that I failed to see the bigger picture.
He send a photo of him sleeping in the army bunk and said that he is breaking up with me and calls me a nuisance before blocking me…
I want him back but even my friends are calling me toxic… I need help.