I (32m) have been dating my girlfriend (29f) for about 18 months. She has the cutest little 4-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
As our relationship has progressed I’ve been spending more and more time at my girlfriend’s place, to the point that I’ve all but moved in with them. This is mostly just because it’s logistically easier for me to go to her place since she has a kid and I don’t.
I work from 4:30 pm to 2:30 am. I get to bed by 4 am and then wake up around noon and then on most days head off to the gym and spend about two hours there total. I like to work out; it makes me feel good, keeps me healthy, and I also consider it a professional responsibility to stay in shape. Working 10-hour shifts means that I don’t have a ton of time in between shift but that I also have more days off than most working people.
This was never a problem until I (basically) moved in with my girlfriend. Suddenly lately when I wake up and try to head off to the gym she’s all “Oh, it’s all about you, huh?” Or “You only care about doing what you need to do. [My daughter] doesn’t understand why you are leaving and why you don’t want to spend time with us.”
The last time things came to a head. When my girlfriend started objecting to my going to the gym I told her “I’ll see you and [your daughter] for a little bit before I go off to work and then tomorrow I’m off and don’t have a workout scheduled so we’ll have the whole day together. But I have to get my workout in today. It’s a priority.”
She then responded “So, the gym is a priority, but me and [my daughter] aren’t? If you want to be part of this family it’s not all about you anymore. So what’s more important to you? The gym, or us?”
I responded “Well, if you’re going to force me to choose instead of making room for something that you know is important to me, then I guess I have to choose the gym.” I then left.
I’m sitting in my own apartment now. Things may be over. In fairness I should note that she wasn’t insisting that I never go to the gym again; she just wanted to renegotiate my schedule. But I was unwilling because I felt as if that would get in the way of my goals.