found out that my bf secretly finds me fat and constantly compares me to slimmer girls
I feel like I kinda messed up on this one. I looked through his messages with this girl he’s friends with. she is his ex, so I was anxious and wanted to know what they were talking about.
my gut was telling me something was off. I’m not trying to justify the snooping though, I get that it was wrong for me to invade his privacy.
call it karma but I literally walked into this myself. I saw him telling her that he’s “confused about his feelings at times” and that when he sees other slimmer girls, he wished I looked like them. I can’t even face him anymore, because I know what he’s thinking about my body size.
for the record, I’m not very fat or obese. just a little plump, on the chubbier end. plus I’ve been struggling mentally for a long time, hence the weight gain. I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been, but not obese. I already hate my body so much.
he mentioned in the text messages that he would feel guilty for thinking about me in that manner. but I guess what really messed with my mind was that he said he’s not sure if he can accept it if I gained even more weight.
now I’m not sure what to do. I really screwed up big time by looking through his messages and it’s messing me up on the inside so badly.
for reference I’m 161cm and 68kg.