My gf (24f) insists that I (26m) go somewhere else to ‘satisfy my needs’
My gf and I have been together for 5 years and we always had a steady life in bed, as usual it was wild and 24/7 in the early stages and dropped off a little by little as we got into the comfortable stages and life got busy.
We were always great and passionate in bed despite being less often. We now have 2 kids, after the first, life pretty much went back to a steady routine, and we did it 2/3 times a week.
But since having our second, her drive is gone… and like not reduced, just straight up gone.
We now on average go about 6/7 weeks before we get intimate (because she just doesn’t feel it) which I am struggling with as I would still be having it every day.
I have tried many options and suggestions with her, like agreeing time schedules to take the not knowing away, but she wasn’t keen on the pressure of having to be in a set day so we didn’t do that.
Have tried to suggest mutual stimulation but she doesn’t even want to do that anymore. Tried me just doing stuff to her or her just talking into my ear while I do my stuff myself but she doesn’t want that either.
After It now being 9 weeks, it’s hit a point where she won’t let us kiss for more than a peck because ‘she doesn’t want me to get excited’
there’s 0 passion or affection, no touching, no teasing nothing intimate in any regards. She has now started telling me that I should ‘as long as you always come back to me, find what you need elsewhere’ and I really don’t know what to do?
Netizens’ comments
- I would recommend couples counseling and potentially a therapist. I think you both need to understand what is going on with the other.
- In situations like this, outside help is something that should be a priority. This is not a healthy relationship at this moment. Some sort of relationship counseling is a must. My wife went through a similar period, and it took months to figure out the root cause. She wan’t ready to communicate it because she didn’t know how. But once it finally came out, we could take steps to fix the issue and we did! But looking back, I realize how much better therapy would have been for us and her.