I’ve been with my bf for 3 years now, and he proposed to me a few days ago. We really get along well, and I really think we’re meant to be together.
However, I refused to accept his proposal for the time being because there was something I was worried about.
My bf’s family is very traditional, and insists that his wife takes on his surname. For me, that would mean changing my title to Mrs Gan, given that Gan is his surname.
I find it problematic to have to take on my future husband’s surname in this day and age, but ironically there is an even bigger problem due to my given name.
My informal english name that I gave myself is Nina. If you put my english name and my bf’s surname together, I’ll become the laughing stock of others.
My bf also agrees that such a combination is not ideal. He suggests that I change my english name since it’s not legally registered in my legal records.
My suggestion is to instead drop the requirement for me to take up his family name. I’m not willing to give up my english name as I’ve used it for many years ever since my secondary school days.
Now we’re stuck at this juncture with no one willing to give way. This really sucks.
Netizens’ comment
- I would think if your surname is Tan ( for example) and if you have to take up his surname, you may consider having it as : Gan – Tan (your name) I have seen such cases and I feel you should keep your surname since it’s your family name. While it’s true that we take the husband surname, to a certain extend that is for the kids.
- TBH i dont think anyone really takes the husband’s surname nowadays. My wife still introduce herself with her own English name (unregistered) and surname and im fine with that. I dont expect pple to address her as Mrs Lin. Most imptly is that your husband supports your decision and can stand up to his family. And no, my wife’s ic dont carry my surname as well.
- Change the English name la! Easy peasy and it solves the petty problem. Just because of your selfishness, you do not want to change ur English name that u gave for urself AND not gonna take on his surname if u ever get married to him. I think that guy deserves better LOL.