My boyfriend hides things from me and doesn’t take accountability
It all started when I caught him openly staring at women and I nicely talked to him about it after the fact. I told him it’s normal to want to look at attractive women but to openly gawk is embarrassing to me.
He looked me in the eyes and denied it.
It happened again and he denied it again.
I told him that I prefer the truth, if he was looking at these women, then just tell me so, so that we can move past this.
He lied to me consistently about it for months and just now, he comes clean he was staring at them because they were attractive and not because of the bs excuses he made up at the time.
It’s especially ridiculous because of how supportive I was in him telling me the truth. He doubled down again and again on multiple occasions and said he wasn’t staring at these girls because they were attractive but because of ridiculous reasons that caught his attention in the moment. Because I knew what I saw I couldn’t drop it. It’s not in my nature to drop things when I know what I saw.
Months later he apologized for lying and said he lied because it was embarrassing.
My boyfriend said he is scared to tell me the truth because I overreact sometimes.
I do overreact about some things but I’ve always supported him in hanging out with his friends and spending time with others outside our relationship so I don’t understand why he kept this from me.
Because of this stuff I can’t remove it from my mind that he might have cheated on me or will someday.
It’s hard for me to know if I’m overreacting or if he’s hiding something.
He broke my trust by hiding things and lying but I don’t know if this can get better if I chill out a bit?
I don’t want to be taken advantage of or hurt.
In all other regards he can be a very loving and kind person and treats me very well but I can’t stand the thought if being with a liar.
Please enlighten me.