My dad was a gambler. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years and we’re considering marriage.
However, once my girlfriend’s father learned about my dad’s gambling past, he refused to give us his blessings. He believes I’ll ask for money from them, as they are wealthy compared to my humble, poor background. Despite assuring him I won’t seek financial help, he continued to verbally me.
He insists on his prediction that I’ll exploit their wealth because my father will beg me for money and I will eventually give in. Once a gambler forever a gambler. His father also threatened to punch me if I continued try to convince him and told me to get out of his house.
My girlfriend tried to intervene but she felt too powerless against her father since she is still looking for a job and has to rely him for financially support. My girlfriend told me she will break free from her family once she found a job.
I really love her, but I’m unsure if continuing this relationship is the right choice.
Here are what netizens think:
- why not take it as a challenge in life ? Come back one day stronger perhaps richer than them? If its already not a blessing from the beginning then it’s going no where for now.
- you can’t choose your parents, but you can choose your father in law… can’t really blame your gf’s father.. he just wants the best for his princess, try to put your perspective in his view.. he loved his daughter more than you love your gf for sure…
- Why are u talking about marriage when u are not financially independent yet?
U mentioned ur girlfriend still HAVE TO rely on her father for financial support, which means she CANNOT rely on u financially. That is a obvious sign u are not financially ready to be a husband yet (let alone a father).
U also mentioned u assured him that u won’t seek financial help from him but he doesn’t believe u. Of coz la! Because talk is cheap. Anyone can pay lip service.
U know what’s the best way to assure him? Read the first line of my post again.
Look! It isn’t about whether ur father was a gambler. It is about whether YOU are dependable as a husband. (Whether u are strong in financial, emotional, problem solving, crisis handling, anger management, communication, etc.)
U have 2 options now:
A) play the “blame game” and be a victim of the bad things that happened in ur life because “u can’t help it”.
B) take responsibility to make the necessary changes u need in ur life.
Only after that then u will know that u are ready to shoulder a family. I assure u it won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.