Will you date a girl that’s not over her ex?
I am dating a girl and everything is amazing. We decided to go exclusive abt 2 months ago. One day she sat me down and explained that she wanted to be 100% honest before we carry on. She’s not over her ex but promises her ex will never come between us.
I probed la, cos I dont want to deal with some crazy ex. Turns out her ex passed away right before they were about to get married and she explained that he was perfect. She has dated after but none of the other guys came close. She firmly believes that no one will ever replace her ex and that her ex was “the one”. She is willing to build this relationship with me, but she wanted me to know how she really feels.
I am the “comfortable” choice. I’m at a loss now. I feel like the consolation price… but it’s true that the ex will never be an issue.
Here are what netizens think:
- Will my life lessons taught to see everything in different perspectives . You sound to be shaken by her narrative so you really have to decide for yourself.
- It’s painful to lost a loved one, it’s good if you can be compassionate and feel the pain with her. It’s actually an honour that she decided to share with you about her past.Everybody has their memories, she is willing to bury her past and start afresh with you. You are that special person that gave her the confidence to start afresh.Please don’t ruin this beautiful new chapter.
- Whether or not she is able to heal, none of us will know. Obviously she don’t want to live in the past and looking forward to heal and continue with her life in a meaningful way which is why she is looking around for someone else.Ask yrself if u are willing to help her heal even if nothing comes out of the relationship. If u love her and want the best for her, u should not give up and help her even if eventually she is just a friend to u.If you treasure your time and will not want to risk yr time and effort, probably she is not the one for u. Let her go.
- A female bestie taught me: A girl’s promise is only as trustworthy as her current emotions. She alr admitted that her ex that passed will be the best she had, so technically u are just the best out of the current choices she have. And that might change in the future lol.She promises u that her ex will not come between the rs but didnt say if another better guy along the way comes, won’t.What i can tell u is, walk away. Women with emotional baggage/scars from past rs requiries serious care and concern ….. which is fine if u have the time and money ( to not work and cater to her needs)AND the part most ppl dont talk about is if they ever managed to heal, they may realise that their new healed self deserves someone better and ur rs will end.Ive seen so many of my guy friends who fall into the stereotype of “nice guys”, trying to heal their exes who were broken, but in the end they were so exhausted and left with nothing but heartbreaks.
- You’re half right.Her ex may never be an issue because he’s dead; ORHer ex may be an issue forever (that can never be resolved because he’s dead).50/50… she’s got emotional baggage .Up to you whether you like traveling light or with a full 30kg of check-in luggage