i bit my boyfriend’s junk because he wouldn’t stop head pushing, but i feel really guilty
it didn’t seem like a big deal at the time but it’s keeping me up. we’ve known each other for around 6 months, and started hu in october. the head pushing has never been a problem until a few weeks ago. i don’t mind a little, but he gets so aggressive that it hurts. i’ve communicated with him in more ways than one that i don’t like how aggressive he is. i’ll stop him when he’s doing it just for him to resume not even a minute later. i’ve told him during and outside of us being intimate so i really don’t think i could’ve been anymore clear.
earlier today i was going down on him and he started again. like usual, i moved his hands off my head, i told him to be gentle, i told him it hurts when he does it all within 5 minutes. he just wouldn’t stop. at first i just bit down a little with my front teeth. that didn’t work so i but the head with my molars. not that hard, probably enough to break a baby carrot. he yelled and pushed me off of him and started yelling and asking what what wrong with me. i told him he’s the one that can’t do the one single thing i’ve asked him so many times to not do when i’m doing something for HIM. he kept telling me it doesn’t matter, that you should never do that to anyone, blah blah blah. we bickered for a couple minutes, and he eventually left while calling me dirty names on his way out.
i honestly wasn’t expecting to do it. i’m just so tired of having my boundaries broken. i have been extremely clear and direct when telling him to simply not push my head. i don’t understand why that is so hard to comprehend. is there something i’m not understanding?? does it make the head better?? i just feel like i’m doing this one thing only for him. i get no pleasure out of it. i don’t even like doing it. and he can’t even give me the peace of not trying to suffocate me. it just feels so dirty and disrespectful with the amount of times i had to ask him not to. but i can’t help but feel bad. i’m worried i might’ve hurt him more than i intended to. i don’t want to call or message him but i don’t even know where he is right now. i know i shouldn’t be worried about him but i am. i really don’t know if i should’ve taken a different approach to this because i don’t know if our relationship will come back from this with how upset he was when he left.