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Wednesday, February 1, 2023
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GIRL BREAKS UP WITH BF TO FORCE HIM TO CHANGE, “DINNER ONLY ONCE A WEEK”

Long story regarding my relationship, please bear with me as I’m looking to help couples that are going through this phase or eventually will go through it.

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5 months ago, I decided to end things with my bf of 3 years. During our last quarrel, i felt that we were not compatible and I don’t see a future with him anymore.

I’m looking for a guy that will treat me well, and he is not treating me the way I want to be treated. He is putting way too much priorities over his life and his friends over me. We only meet once a week and it probably was just dinner depending on availability and there were no new activities in our life and it felt that our whole relationship has gone into a stagnant phase, and both of us were not growing at all. Sparks started dying off, I felt like I deserved better, and eventually convinced myself to give up the relationship. And also to make things clear, there wasn’t abuse or cheating involved in our relationship.

2-3 weeks after the breakup(he continued trying for another 4-6weeks), he started coming back to beg me to stay, something that he would never have done for me before. He started saying sweet things like how our break up has affected him and how he can’t live without me. How much he wanted me back in his life and how he would change for me.

At that point of time, i still love him and care for him, but I think this relationship is not going to get anywhere, I spent weeks to convince myself that leaving is for the better good. I was overwhelmed with negative emotions and everything he said just turned me off. So of course I started ghosting him, and took weeks to reply him, despite him sending the long messages about how much he missed me and asking me to meet. Eventually he stopped trying.

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I’m actually a stubbornly strong lady, the first two months of letting go, I was in pain, I still love him alot and can’t let go of him. But I told myself it’s going to get better without him. I forced myself to believe that it is over, I will have a better future ahead of me, I will find someone that will treat me better. Everyday, I told myself I will never return to my ex, I deserve better than him. The first month of no texting, I just felt neutral, it doesn’t hurt me as much, as I thought I have already moved on.

Fast forward to a month later after he stopped texting me, I broke down.

The emptiness inside me start to swallow me up. I realised I can’t let go of him, I can’t give him up, my life is not the same without him. The months I spent to convince myself that he is not the right one, fell right through. I was in so much pain, I can’t sleep properly at night, I can’t even set my mind straight.

So finally last month, I let down my ego and reached out to him(lucky he didn’t blocked me). Turns out he is still waiting for me. He told me how happy he is to receive my text, he waited me for patiently all this while cause he felt like I needed the space. He never gave up on us despite my no replies and my resistance to meet him. And now we are back together. Spending the Christmas and New Year together.

He is totally a changed man now. He held to his promises so far for 2 months, I can see he really changed. He is putting his 101% into our relationship now. I guess this is where they say “only know how to treasure it when you lose it”. And the pain that I felt during the break, it’s something I never want to experience again, and I thank god for him not giving up on me during our break up period. In fact this break up period made us realise how much we love each other and strengthen our relationship even more.

To all the couples out there, if there were not lying, cheating, abusing in your relationship, even though at some point you lose all your spark and want to give up on the relationship, asked for a break up, it’s very normal, it’s part of life, sometimes it takes space to deepen your love for each other. If he seems sincere in coming back to your life, there is no harm trying again, at the very worst, you can breakup again in another 1-2 months if you noticed he didn’t change. Don’t let the ego of yourself of not going back to your Ex stand in the way, if he can drop his ego to beg for you to stay, likewise you can do the same.

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At the end of the day, we just want a guy that is willing to love us, fight for us and never give up on us.

It’s never easy for a guy to start begging a girl. Likewise, do not give up on your SO. Sometimes we can be really stupid and needs a breakup to realise what we really want.

Of course that is if your SO, is still willing to fight for you. Good luck to all the couples out there and wish your relationship all the best!

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