I’ve cheated in every relationship I’ve ever been in
I (21F) have cheated on every partner I’ve had since school, being roughly 6-7 relationships. Some were impulsive, some were carefully thought out and planned around my partners, others stemmed from selfishness, being too scared to break up and some I felt so guilty about I confessed. I’ve either had multiple partners or emotionally/ physically cheated on the one.
The reasons range from insecurity, boredom, ego, in the heat of the moment, or resentful towards my partner.
My last relationship was probably my most relentless, with both me and the boyfriend cheating on each other tens of hundreds of times over a period of 2 years.
Since that ended, I’ve sticked to casual hookups and nothing more. I hate the person I am when I cheat on someone that at the end of the day, was just looking for love like me. I also hate myself when cheating on a partner who did it first instead of leaving.
I decided not to date until I can understand my behavior and work through my insecurities, even if that takes me years of therapy and self reflection.
My ADHD also plays a role (NOT an excuse) on my behavioral actions and impulses, so I want to learn how to control that as well before jumping into the dating pool.
Before I close, I want to add two of my strongest opinions from being a cereal cheater:
All cheating is cheating, no matter how minor. Girls kissing girl friends, friendly flirting, etc. Whether I was dancing with a stranger in a bar or making overly-friendly small talk with a coworker, I knew what I was doing.
If someone cheats on you, THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU. I’ve told countless partners I loved them while cheating knowing I didn’t.
Cheating is always enacted from pure selfishness decided against your partners wishes, knowing it will cause hurt to them. That’s something you do when you don’t love someone, and love has no room for selfishness.
That is my confession, thank you to anyone who took the time to read.