Am I gaslighted or overthinking?
I’m one month postpartum and I believe that I wasn’t the same person I was before. Please help me and give me advice.
For context, my husband has an ex, which was a dear friend to him prior their relationship. During our dating stage, he was open to tell me that he wanted to reconnect with her cos he still sees her as a friend. But this ex has blocked him from her socials and no communication since their breakup. They have common friends so he was informed that she was getting married (this happened 2021) But he doesn’t have any updates with her since then. We got married recently and also I have given birth also.
Now, one day, I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was in the toilet. He left his computer on, out of curiosity I checked his recently closed tabs until I saw that he was looking at his ex’s FB profile (using dummy account). I know it’s wrong cos I invaded his privacy but I was just curious what he’s doing on his computer while I sleep. I confronted him about it and he told me that he felt that I violated his privacy. He even said that I had nothing to worry about and he had been open how he wanted to reconnect with her. Moreover, he said that it’s scary that I snooped on his computer like that and he didn’t once do it to me cos he respects my privacy and he trusts me. When I asked him why he was stalking his ex, he said that it wasn’t stalking but more like he wanted to see how she was doing. The argument led me apologizing to him for invading his privacy. He even said that he sees nothing wrong with what he did.
I wasn’t like this before I give birth but now I’m too sensitive about everything. Are my feelings even valid or was it really my wrong for checking his recently closed tabs out of curiosity?
Here are what netizens think:
I am looking at this logically
1. They broke up. Both moved on and are married now. Why is he still so concerned that his ex is getting married?
2. They are ‘friends’ but friends don’t get blocked on social media. He’s actually not able to let go of his ex and has been in a way disruptive to his ex so she blocks him on social media.
3. He has something on with his ex but so far the ex is not reciprocating his efforts.
4. You are invading his privacy no doubt but what made you do that? Something is really suspicious and that compelled you to take the unusual route of investigation. So don’t blame yourself for that.
5. You are post partum, you will tend to blame yourself and develop depressive thoughts due to the negative circumstances that are taking place. I’m sorry to say, your husband is not in the right state to continue the marriage. But he might be a good father. Therefore take note of your mental state and seek help if needed, don’t stop your husband from reaching his child.
Good luck.