Just wanna rant a bit about my feelings lately. It’s been horrendously uneasy for me in the recent months, as it’s a regret that I’ve came across in my life. I perhaps need some advice on how to live with this specific regret.
My ex and I broke up for more than a year. We both were at fault, but for months after our breakup he was willing to pick up the mess to reconcile. He reassured me that he will change, he will compromise, he will try his best to give me the time and attention that I need, he promised to fix our relationship issues and not run away from them. However I firmly believed the saying that over is over and there is no turning back. Every time he texted me, I just blueticked without replying. He sent gifts to me at my office but I gave them to my colleagues or threw them away. He tried his best to reconcile me for about half a year before he finally gave up on me.
I guess sometimes my life is just a silly joke. Recently a close friend of mine told me that he is now together with an acquaintance of mine during JC. He doesn’t know that we were acquaintances, and she didn’t know we were together either. Long story short, from what I heard, he treats her extremely well. He does things that he didn’t do for me, like accompanying her to her nearest bus stop or mrt station after every meetup, surprise her flowers once in a while, took her to a cruise recently just because she loves travelling so much, went over to her place to cook for her, always refuses to quarrel back whenever they fight. As compared to me, my friend is much closer to her, so she shared with me a lot about my ex and his new girlfriend.
The more I think about it, the more I regret not giving him a chance. What’s worse is that I sometimes really hate this acquaintance, and I low key feels that she stole my happiness and I deserve thousands of thank you from her. There are times I wish they just breakup and he will return to me. It sounds absurd, and I know it’s wrong to think so negatively of her but honestly I can’t help it. If I could go back in time, I would gladly give my ex the chance to reconcile.
It’s terribly difficult for me to move on.”