A netizen shared how she has been dating her boyfriend who really likes children but she doesn’t want to have children.
Here is the story:
“When did you decide whether to have children or not?
I have been attached for close to two years now. Our relationship was built on the understanding that we’d get married eventually and start a family; my partner likes children very much. But for the past year, I have been considering if I actually don’t want to be a parent after all.
While I think it is meaningful to raise children and build a loving family, the sacrifices to be made are incredibly offputting. Having children requires so much commitment and responsibility, including financial cost, loss of personal time and freedom, the pressure to meet their emotional/developmental needs etc. As a female, there would also be physical changes and health risks I would have to deal with.
People have told me that my views may change over time, especially when I get older. I also suspect that my reluctance to have children is because I haven’t been able to do a lot of the things I want to do as a working adult yet, mainly travelling more and living independently. But the longer I drag this indecision out, the longer I’d be holding back my partner who could have used this time to find someone more compatible and start a family earlier.
I haven’t raised this with my partner seriously yet, because I want to be sure of my own position before engaging in a meaningful discussion with him. He is already clear on his stance and I don’t expect to change his mind for my sake.
Any thoughts please? Thanks in advance!”