A netizen shared how her boyfriend keeps talking about his family as though he doesn’t treat her as one (they have plans to get married).
She also said that when he goes out with his family, he doesn’t ask her to go along with them and she feels left out.
Here is the story:
Hope I can get some very useful advices here as this concern has been in my mind for awhile now.
My partner (A) and I have been together for a few years now. From the beginning of our r/s, I was well aware that A is a very very family-oriented person and always puts family first over everything. Of course, it was nice to know that A has the right priorities.
Over the course of our r/s however, I began to feel left out sometimes.
For e.g., A would frequently talk about family – daily happenings etc. (would always include A’s sibling’s partner – they have been together for much longer).
Although I am unable to describe in detail, but whenever A talks about them, it seems like A does not view me as part of the family (despite the fact we have the intention to be life partners – family knows that).
Yet, the way A speaks shows that A views A’s sibling’s partner as family. They have all gone out on a few occasions without me, which I tried not to put much thought into due to the current covid restrictions as well as last minute plans made by them (when I was not over at their place but A’s sibling’s partner was).
Hence, this makes me feel really left out and even “extra” sometimes, I really can’t help but feel hurt. I don’t wish to bring up this matter to A as I know how much importance A place towards family and I have no intention to change A’s views. Not sure if there is anything else I can do?
Editor’s notes: Maybe you can try telling him how you feel, if you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, a little honesty and transparency goes a really long way.