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Friday, February 3, 2023
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GIRL FELT THAT HER LOVE IS GONE, BUT IT WAS NEVER THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE

The love was never gone

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We were friends first. We shared a lot of hobbies together. We accompanied each other during the pandemic era.

I fell for him first but I never confessed. He was the one who proposed to try to be a couple one day but the relationship was short-lived because he was already going to move to another city to study. He said we were incompatible. He said he didn’t know if he can do long distance.

He said he didn’t know what is going to happen in the next 4 years. He said he’s not ready to commit. I was devastated but we still continued to be friends but we still acted like a couple along the way. I know I will be the hurting more in the end. I made plans to move to the city he’s in as I was frustrated with my current job and I had plans to leave anyway.

Eventually, I got a job offer and was going to move there. But, plans crashed. He said he found another and was serious about her. I was devastated by the news. What hurts more is when he decided to just cut me off completely. He knew I loved him but he never loved me regardless of the things I did for him. I know love is selfless and I never blamed him for that.

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9 months has since passed. I remembered the journey to healing was very painful but I took step by step by day. He was a lot of my firsts. I did everything I could for him to come back but he never did. Eventually, I no longer wait. One day, I coincidentally met him at the airport. I couldn’t recognize him at first because he was wearing a mask. But my gut was telling me I recognize those eyes.

I knew we were heading to the same destination. He waited for him at the departure hall. He didn’t walk over. Maybe he recognized me too but didn’t want to see me. I plucked my courage to search for him and saw him taking off his mask. It was him. I walked over to say hi even though I know he said he refused to see me anymore (p.s I don’t know why. Probably giving the both of us a clean cut.). We chatted a bit. He was doing well, both in studies and relationship and I’m happy for him. As I watched him, I knew my love for him was never gone but I couldn’t do anything anymore.

He was still the same guy I fell in love with but different. As we parted ways (we were going to the same destination but on different planes), I watched him as how I see him for the last time when I flew over to visit him last time. I never hated him but feelings gushed back after that as if I never left but he was long gone. I’m glad that we met again and I hope this is not the last time I see him again.

I guessed the love was never gone.

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