I (24 female) just found out my (29 male) boyfriend has spent a lot of money on olyfans. We have a relationship for 4 years now.
He has a business and I recently started working for him as an administrative worker. He asked me for the first time to pay a bill for him with his card, which i then did via online banking.
I see multiple bank accounts for his multiple business, so I pick the one with his name on it. I assumed this was his main business account since I chose the business one on the banking app. I start looking in his transfers to search for the company I had to pay the bill for…..
While I was looking I stumbled on transfers with the description of “OF”, then I became suspiscious. I see every 5th of the month a transfer for $10+ to “OF”. So I knew it was onlyfans and I realised I gained access to his private account. It wasn’t on purpose and I never have looked through his phone or something like that. But I couldn’t help myself to check further
I scrolled down and I see that in november he paid 150 dollar to onlyfans and in december on a random day again 150 dollars
To give some more context, in some way we have a traditional type of relationship where he has very stong values of what a man and woman do in the relationship. But it’s also not traditional in the way he is very successful and always has been honest with me that he doesn’t want to be “limited” in our relationship.
I don’t find it easy but I love him with my whole heart and accepted it. Under the promise he always has to be honest with me. And he never took the step to actually do something with someone else. He gives me time to adjust to it and would love me to join in one day instead of him doing it alone.
Now back to the values, he strongly believes that pleasuring yourself as a man is not good for you. So I was surprised when I found the onlyfans payments. I am not bothered by the subscription because I think it could be possible he doesn’t use it often. But what bothers me is the 2 payments for 150 dollars on random moments
I don’t know how I should talk to him about it or how I can bring this up. I want to know why he tells me what his values are when it seems he doesn’t follow them himself. And he will think I searched his private bank account on purpose
How do I proceed? I’m lost.