I (27 f) have been seeing one of my good friends (34 m). As much as I would like to make excuses for my behavior, I can’t.
What I’m doing is wrong. It’s very wrong. But I’m tired of always being the better person and still being miserable.
Let me give you a background on our lives real fast
I have a 2 year old daughter. I got out of a toxic relationship with her dad a year ago and he has a new girlfriend who harasses me endlessly. She constantly tries to make trouble and cause a ruckus in my life and will not leave me alone.
She’s very cruel to me because my ex tried to hook up with me once even though I rejected him she still hates me. I’m barely able to afford my bills and I’m also being stalked by a guy I dated for a month.
Long story short, he went as far as to wait outside my house to talk to me because I blocked his number and all the fake numbers he created to call me from. My life is hard right now.
My friend who I am seeing is also married, wife doesn’t show him affection
My friend is married and has been for 14 years I believe. He has 2 daughter that he loves and spends a lot of time with. He works a full time job and still takes care of the house and his own laundry. His wife doesn’t like him and doesn’t show him affection.
She won’t help him financially by getting a job and she also refuses to get a driver’s license. She verbally torments my friend and racks up debt on their credit cards. She’s a spoiled brat honestly. My friend makes really good money but is struggling to keep up with her spending habits.
How I met my friend
My friend and I met at a karaoke pub. Not to brag, but I’m an exceptional singer and our first interaction was him complimenting my performance. From there we developed a friendship and started hanging out.
We added one another on social media and eventually we confessed our attraction to one another. We bonded over how we both really want to feel heard. We both are unhappy and suffering and it felt good to have someone acknowledge and validate that pain.
Well, our friendship accidentally became romantic. I’ve invited him to my home to eat, drink, and chat a few times and all was good with no hidden agenda from each other.
At some point we started becoming intimate. The bed exercise is so amazing and passionate. He says he feels alive again and that he loves me. Tonight he came to see me at work and lowkey suggested we move in together.
He is so sweet to me and brings me gifts often. I’m not used to that. I’ve never had a guy buy me gifts and want to come see me.
I like him and want to take him up on his offer but he’s married and I don’t want to break up his family. I know its not my responsibility to hold his marriage together and if he didn’t meet me, I’m sure it would be some other woman that gives him the inspiration to finally leave his wife.
However, I know what I’m doing is wrong, and it sucks that I’m so selfish to keep allowing it because I enjoy the friendship and attention.
I wish we hadn’t crossed the line into a romantic and intimate relationship.
Being friends is still on the table for me but I don’t know if being normal friends without any intimacy will be possible between us.