Please hear me out, the title sounds horrible.
I have a boyfriend that works in a restaurant in another country (1.30h flight, so there is not an issue there). He doesnt have many friends, just the ones he met at work.
We have been doing this for a year, and things have gone from good to bad and vice versa. His friends from work are mostly female, which isnt a problem to me.
Recently, his friend(F) blocked him on social media after a joke he made, and he said to her best friend(F) that he loved her. When I got upset about this, he said i didn’t understand humour and the context and i shouldn’t feel bad about this. I quickly started to realize that this friend who blocked him liked him, and felt a little uncomfortable with the situation.
I would not tell my boyfriend who he can and cannot hang out with, its not fair and not right so i don’t ever do that. I know she likes him because she stalks his Spotify to see what songs he listens to and starts conversations like that, she constantly texts him and started making fun of him(and me) when she found out about me.
He is her boss, so her being able to text him after work is a little weird to me. When there is a problem between us, he runs to those 2 females (the one who likes him and her best friend) and they always say im bad for him.
He never really sticks up for me, its always ‘hahaha shut up!’ In the most jokingly manner, you can imagine. It would come to a point where he wouldnt open my messages, but open theirs.
At first i didn’t care, but their groupchat takes up all the time we have when we meet in real life. After doing adult time, he will simply roll over and text his groupchat. I get annoyed at this. My best friend has contacted with him and lets him vent in his DMS, so he wouldnt have to text the girls about this. It makes me uncomfortable when he does that (with the girls) because we agreed to not put our problems in other peoples minds if we havent talked about them.
Im ok with him venting to my best friend, because i know my best friend wont just pick my side in arguments. He will let him rage and vent without there being an issue. However, i have blocked my boyfriend numerous of times. Reasons of this were because we were broken up or because i was over it all.
The last time i blocked him, was because he called me abusive over me blocking him on Whatsapp. I agree that i say words that hurt when i am angry and can be very rude or harsh with my words, but i never saw or thought of myself as abusive. (I am in therapy to work on myself.) because this is a serious accusation, i blocked him.
When i did, he texted my best friend that i am borderline abusive and the biggest mistake he made. I forgave him for this, but its still in the back of my head whenever i see him. He is constantly on his phone texting those females and im afraid to say anything about it because i am scared he will call me abusive again. So AITA for being annoyed when he texts them? Mostly right after sexy time.