I’ve been tgt with my bf for 10 years and I basically wear the pants in the rs not bcs I’m the domineering one but my bf mindset is not the kind that would plan ahead or would just decide on anything.
So naturally, I have to volunteer doing all the planning etc.
However, just awhile back my mum told me not to rush into things as she started to have a h2h talk with me and really felt like my bf isn’t ready with his finances and career. Even tho, we’ve been tgt for abt 10 years, I felt like my mum wasn’t approving of him like his phase in life becos he took the longest track which is ITE, Poly and then Uni. So by the time he grad, he’d rly be close to 30 alr and haven’t started working but I’d have accomplished much more or maybe even job hopping to get a higher pay raise which I would then feel the imbalance and the difference.
I do see him in my future and that was why I want to get a bto first with him but now, her questions are ringing in my head, will I end up being the payor of the house? Or mostly everything? Meals? I need to take care of my mum and my grandma sometimes…
I can’t afford to foot the bills whenever I’m with my bf. We haven’t talked abt this becos whenever I try to communicate with him, he always brushes me off as he’s afraid of the future too and just says “if it happens, then think later”.
Sometimes, his attitude rly turn me off like I don’t feel he loves me as much as I love him but he might also be feeling v stressed over sch and stuff.. I just want some assurance and then there you have my mum saying all these trying to make me have second thoughts on this man. What shld I do now?
Here are what netizens think:H
You forever want to be his mother or what? No planning in anything means no goals and no future aka “come what may” attitude. Always reliant on someone to do “the more” part so he can just give the bare minimum like “show up”. I suggest you date people who have same values as you.