Will you still get married?
Got together got almost 5 years and we are getting married soon. But, is he really the one you want to spend your whole life with? We got to know each other through mutual friend. He is really very nice and sweet when chasing you. I mean, yeah he love to sugar coat things actually. He portray himself as the most sweetest nicest bf/son/friend/anything you can think of.
Of course, thats how i fell in love with him right?
I mean, who doesnt like guys that are nice and sweet? Yep, we got together. He brought me to expensive restaurants. (Yes, he love going expensive restaurants/michelin stars restaurant.) Yep, i understand. But i’m someone that doesnt know how to appreciate it. So i tend to compare food with hawker food. And when he meet his friends, he will tell his friends as a joke and start bragging that he brought me to this and that restaurant and enjoy their food. And every single time he meet his friend, im always that odd one out got left out.
Firstly, their topic is either how expensive and how awesome this chef cooks or how they went club and almost got into ‘taiji’ with other guys. Yes, so thats why i can never talk to them, because i dont know any awesome famous chef or neither i club. I went to club with my bf. But he just dump me there and look for his friends. Yes, he is ‘popular’ if that’s what you want to know. So i was in the club standing one side alone while waiting for him (well, i dont drink at all). He took really long. And thats when someone started touching me everywhere, obviously i almost started a fight with that asshole that touched me but bouncer stopped me as if i was the one at fault because he doesn’t know the guy was molesting me. I dont know about you guys, but i felt like shit. I cried because i went there with my bf but he just left me there and went to look for his friends. (Yes he can do this). But we are still together of course and thats the start of our relationship. Everything is still sweet, (I know, honeymoon period).
But slowly, his TLC getting lesser except if is infront of someone. Other than that, nah we are like old couple. We dont celebrate anything except his birthday because i will be the one that planned everything and surprise him. He doesnt plan anything because he wont remember any date or anything. Even if he remembers my birthday, he doesnt do anything. So i tend to work instead. Because if i want a staycay, he will not look for hotels but will expect me to look for one myself and he will just transfer me the money. But no, i did not do that because i still have to plan my own birthday like nah it ok, im tired. lol. Except i guess 2 years ago? I received the very first and only celebration from him. :’) (Thank you) But well, like i said as long as we are alone, its quite different. He can just walk away when we are outside, he will leave me behind because he can. Yes, even when we are in overseas.
If we are alone, we hardly hug because his phone is the most important thing especially his videos. But when there’s someone, he will hug me, kiss me and all sorts of things he can think of that time, like open car door for me infront of his friends. But when we are alone, he will just stand there and use his phone, when i out from the car, he will lock the car and walk off while using his phone. He’s reasoning is, work. But all i can see is, he’s scrolling IG FB YT.
And slowly, i treat him really shit. Or worse than shit, is total scumbag f*ed up. I am someone that wears my emotions out. He is really very egoist. He cannot lose to any or everything. He must be the best. Even if he’s at fault, he will lie and say NO. We had a very big fight recently. We had a time out. Everyone is siding him and yes i understand because i am really f*ed up to him in all ways. So I had the mindset of leaving since i am the toxic one right? But we’ve been together for so many years and we are getting married. But is it love or just used to each other? Because if i were to continue, am i able to take it when he starts walking away and leave me behind again? Or like, ignore me and talk to his friends when i was the one talking to him first? No effort planning of dates? Or his family starts making up stories about me? Or when i injured myself, he will just ignore me and play with his handphone games? He is still sweet sometimes. But….. we are getting married, starting a family. Or should he leave me because i am the toxic one…. Haha tough. Human beings are just 犯贱 thank you. I’m done ranting, sorry my story are messy.
Just needed to rant out because i dont tell my friends what happened