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Tuesday, March 28, 2023


Unsurprisingly, many bash me for being a gold-digger, whereas some support my sentiment – I thank you for that. Given the economic turbulence, I am deeply concerned about our financial state, and I can’t help but worry about our future.


A bit of context about myself: I grew up in a poor household where my family had difficulty making ends meet. My dad is a compulsive gambler, whereas my mom is a shm. My dad would rack up tons of debt each month and expect others to pay it off for him.

Living with him was a complete nightmare. I was taught the value of money at a very young age. I had scrimped and saved to clear the pilling debt and ensure that we had the money for food. I see entering university as an option to escape this situation and be free of financial woes. During my time at the university, my friends would travel overseas and speak fervently about their experiences.

I am immensely jealous of their financial ability and had difficulty dealing with such emotions. While I am busily hustling with multiple part-time jobs in SG, I am constantly reminded of how my life would turn out if I were to be born into privilege and be able to do whatever I want.

Life wasn’t entirely unfair for me. I had two suitors back in uni. One of them was from biz whom I met in an orientation camp. We had good chemistry. He is quick-witted and good with words. However, silly me decided not to see my feeling till the end as I am still acclimatizing to the new uni environment, which I find difficult due to imposter syndrome. Then there comes the tech boom. Rumour has it that computing students commanded a high starting pay upon graduation. I took up basic computing mods for fun, hoping to make new connections. I instantly regretted it. Programming mods are easily some of the toughest courses in uni, and I had to stay up late and rely on my peers for assistance. I recalled approaching the prof if there were any “shortcuts” to succeed in this field without going through this grueling learning process, to which he cheekily replied: “Just go get a CS boyfriend, lah.” Despite the ridicule, I took his advice, and true enough, I met my current boyfriend in an organized session for CS student to network and find love.


I must admit, my boyfriend is not the most handsome and charismatic among the guys I encountered. His earning potential mainly attracts me. He stan his prof so much and views him as a supreme sorcerer. He is heavily influenced by his view and is bullish on the prospect of FAANG. He would coerce me into investing my hard-earned money into FAANG and some unknown cryptos with assurances that they would yield positive returns. His obsession with FAANG eventually earned him a spot in FB at SV, which I am happy for him. He then moved to California to pursue the opportunity while I stayed in SG, hoping I would join him as soon as he had settled. The first few years were rosy as our careers soared and our investments peaked. It was not long before all good things came to an end.

Fast forward to today, I received news that he was let go with no concrete plans moving forward. He is on a work visa and will have to return to SG if he cannot secure another job there. His refusal to return home and work in SG leaves our future uncertain. I suspect my income alone cannot sustain us for long s as I am drawing a mediocre wage. Despite the circumstance, he remained optimistic and unbothered about our financial position. Last I checked, he solicited money from his relatives along with his severance to short cryptos to turn the tide. He promised them he would double their money in a couple of days which I find hard to believe.

It is difficult to fathom how someone smart enough to enter FAANG has landed himself in such a plight, completely derailed and out-of-touch with the world. I am now left with a delusional boyfriend and a broken portfolio down by 70%. Due to my constant struggle with money, I felt as if I had reverted to square one and began to doubt my decision to choose my boyfriend over the biz chap from orientation. I would sometime browse his Instagram to see how he was doing. Seeing how he is often on vacation with his wife and making luxurious purchases made me green with envy as it is the kind of life that I have been working so hard for all this while.

I understand it is a long post, and I ultimately only have myself to blame for how things have transpired the past couple of days – just wanna rant and seek some comfort in these trying times.

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