Hi all…I have been harassed in my workplace for the last 10 months, ever since i joined. I am confused because my colleagues are all hostile towards me, often laughing at me and saying the kind of food I eat is like poison to them, things like that. It hurts a lot. But it is also very passive aggressive hence I am not able to report it. My direct manager has been nice to me up until 2 months ago, when he turned tables. I tried asking for feedback, apparently I am not doing anything wrong, only that I need so “build more rapport” which is not specific either, which makes me feel like they do not actually want to help me. Is it me? But why? I was determined to improve since the very day I joined, so why me?
My senior manager is worse to me, humiliated me in front of everyone by waving his arms as though I was not listening, even though I was and managed to answer his question correctly not once but twice. They keep telling me to go back home, considering that I am living on my own as my parents are in another country. Why? They accused me of being ashamed of my parents place and as if that is the reason why I did not tell them where my parents were. That is far from the truth, I did not say it because I did not think it mattered to the job and to avoid judgement and it turns out that I was right! A lot of other things happened, I can list them all out in an effort to get it off my chest 🙁 they did not pass my tasks, QA always finds a reason to reject them even though I have done them correctly. They sent out someone to “chase me” for my tasks, which also hurt a lot and added more pressure, which did the opposite of help.
They kept asking me to post my updates, however they would never accept it, for example, if I comment it, ask me to message it, if I message it, ask me to email it, nothing or everything is never good enough. This was when I asked my manager why. He said I need to work on building rapport. So I was moved to another team and before I even said anything, the leader of the other team was also hostile towards me, word must have gotten around. I have no idea where this hatred for me comes from or why.
Anyway, it gets worse and real serious here… Apparently I found out that everyone can see me through my camera, even though my camera filter was closed. And they were all watching me the whole time. I found out when my direct manager turned on his camera once and copied how I moved, 1 second after I did it many times, and when I drank water he also copied it. So the messed up part of this is, they could see me change, and intimate things I did, while I did not know they could see as I blocked the camera. They are blackmailing passive aggressively to sell it. And also, they saw me yell at my dog and not allow him out (due to estate regulations) when he wanted to go and I was playfully hitting him (he likes it) but it can look really bad, considering I also did it while scolding him for not eating even though I know that it does not hurt him, and are threatening to release that as well…I admit i was at fault as I was dealing with lots of stress and when he would not eat otherwise we are and have always been loving caring and good for many many years 🙁 They make fun of everything I do, like bring my dog out on a walk on a harness.
I do not think that it is possible for me to report this because I do not want to go to prison which I can and do not want my private photos leaked. They also went through my phone. I had installed “work profile” on my phone. I am not sure what to do. My last day was supposed to be on 18 oct, but I don’t know why they are still torturing me. They say that I am not speaking loudly and ask me to speak louder, and when I do, critisize me, but when someone else speaks even more softly, they can hear her. Even though I say the exact same thing as others, they critisize me. They speak over me, do not listen to my ideas, steal my ideas, talk down to me. I have no idea what to do anymore, I don’t think I will get a reference if I stay anyway. At the same time, I fear that giving in too early will give the wrong message and cause them to continue messing with me once I leave.
My direct manager also started sabotaging my projects, by undoing the changes I did and saying it does not work, gaslighting me, not giving proper instructions, etc. He hinted that HR was also on his side. They never directly told me to leave, but are intimidating me into leaving, which is so passive aggressive, and blaming me for not taking the hint and leaving, which is when my manager ended my contract before it even expired and I was logged out of my system for a few days while they worked to fix that issue. They told me it was a mistake. How am I supposed to read between the lines?
Everything I tell my manager I like or I want, he takes that away from me. Everything that I do not like, he gives to me. Was this the sign to talk to him, or to leave the job? Because when I talked to him, he only had positive feedback. Ironically, when I tried to resign, my direct reporting manager “convinced” me to stay by saying I am valuable to him and good and should stay, and so I retracted my resignation. He then later got the leader to tell everyone that it was my fault for not “reading the signs” and leaving- like hello- he told me how valuable I was and that I should not leave and that I am doing a proper job.
I never got an honest performance appraisal or any feedback related to my work, only personal attacks. I am wondering, was it me? What can I do to ensure this does not happen again at my next job?
I also feel extremely intruded as they could see all my google searches and photos which are very embarrassing. Despite all that, i still do not think that they know me one single bit either because I was always googling and posting random stupid unrelatable stuff. Dang thing stings, I only hope it does not come to bite me in the future as the entire company seems to have it out for me and gang up on me in company-wide meetings.