i hate my boyfriend.
he isn’t sweet or kind or gentle or thoughtful or caring or pleasant to be around anymore. we’ve been together for half a year and he’s completely transformed into someone i don’t even know.
he doesn’t want to talk to me unless there’s something important to talk about, consistently ignores me for hours upon hours every day to play video games with his friends, gets angry at me when i hold him to plans he agreed to, or accountable in general, has yelled in my face, thrown things, grabbed me so hard he left fingerprint shaped bruises, has no interest in listening to me talk about what makes me happy. nothing.
i’ve tried talking to him about this kind of thing, but every single time it just gets worse after, to the point where now if he’s upset in the same room as me i feel nauseous.
i’m scared of him.
but he tells me it’s my fault he acts the way he does, and i do understand that i can be really difficult to be with and obviously i’m by no means a stunning partner all of the time, but is this really all my fault?
i’m so confused because it wasn’t like this, at least not this bad, so i think i must’ve done something to piss him off enough.
i’m so exhausted of always being wrong for being a person. i want to spend time with him for the first time in a a week, and i’m not independent enough.
i want to go out with my friends while he sleeps, and i never spend time with him. i find a hobby, it’s stupid, i don’t have a hobby, i’m stupid.
i have feelings, i need to shut them up because that’s stupid, i don’t have feelings, he gets irrationally angry because he can’t get a reaction out of me.
it’s like this with everything. all the time. i’m so tired of him and i’m tired of being tired.
Edit: we were friends for multiple years before this, and he was an amazing person. and he was fine to be around for the first two months while dating, things have just gotten progressively worse up until this point
- Please read your post like it was written by someone else. Would you encourage another person to continue in a relationship with a man like this?
You’ve given so many reasons to leave him, but the only reason that you stay seems to be that you’re difficult at times.
Please be as kind to yourself as you would be to a stranger.
- Read through your post and you’ll see all the reasons why it’s apparent you need to leave and move on. BPD or not, his actions are not your fault.
- Break up with him. I don’t think things changed. it’s only been 6 months so how much can a person change in such a short period of time? If I were to guess (from experience) the honeymoon phase is over and now you’re seeing his true self…
- You literally listed down all the reasons you should leave him, protect yourself.