A girl shared how she envies her friends for having a loving family and that her father is very toxic and always thinks he is right.
Here is the story:
I needed a place to rant. I have always envied friends with loving family because I felt my family is a huge chaos.
My parents quarrel almost every other day, for the simplest thing you can think of. Their quarrels are so loud that I always felt my heart thumping fast and loud.
I really hate myself for feeling this way, but I really hate my dad for his extremely toxic character. He is a big chauvinist, he always think he is right, if things didn’t go his way, he will be very angry and started shouting. He always feel the whole world owes him, and would express his unhappiness for people who are successful. Because of his character, he has not been working for the past 20 years, when he was in his early fifties. My elder sis was the one supporting the whole family expenses. Back then I was still in my primary school. I always recalled him scolding me when I switched on the lights at night to study. So, everyday I have to wake up very early, when he was still sleeping, on the bathroom light to study. I understand his concern was to save on electricity bill because his income had stopped. I just cannot understand why didn’t he put in effort to find a job then.
My dad’s temper is so bad that his family members had not keep in touch with him ever since and he did not have any friends.
Since young, he had always physically abuse my brother by punching him. My brother dreaded coming home and was a secondary school dropout. He learnt smoking, steals from people, and got easily triggered temper too. I always feel my dad had the biggest role to play in my brother going astray.
Fast forward to today, dads temper had not improved a single bit, if any at all, it’s worsened. I really hate the way he talked to my mum, always finding faults at her and thinking he’s the right one.
He is old now. Everytime I looked at him, tears will start to well up in my eyes. I really wanted so much to be filial to him, but I resent him so much. I feared him so much too. I know he is ageing, he lost weight, started having issues with eyes and legs. But everytime he shouts, it is still so loud and so vulgar. It’s as though the whole world owes him.
I pray for the day when he starts being less toxic, be more grateful and with a better temper. So that his family will start caring for him.”
Editor’s note: Tell him he’s getting older and ask him what kind of legacy does he want to leave behind when he eventually leaves the world? Does he want to be remembered as a toxic man or does he want people to recall him fondly?