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Sunday, March 26, 2023


: Marriage-Phobic for Some Reasons


I always have/had phobia towards marriage because of these reasons:

1. My cousin married a rich man but the guy ended up straying round so I have been advised since young not to marry a man for money.

2. My sister married for love but divorced after just two years, because she was very career-minded but did not have a supportive and understanding husband whom could give her the moral support she very much needed.

3. My beloved grandma told me if I get married early, I would most likely end up in a divorce.. and my mum always repeated to me what my grandma said until after I was like, 30 years old. (I have lots of good memories together with my grandma, I remember when she worked in his brother’s arcade as a cashier, I would spend the whole afternoon with her in the arcade playing in it.. she doted on me a lot, she would literally scold anyone who tried to bully me including one of her daughter in laws, very cute, haha).


So I waited, waited and waited until I had no choice but to get married already. Even then, I still didn’t think I was ready for it.

After I got married, I almost instantly regretted it because I don’t think I’ve married the right person (and the right family, even though I had spent a lot of time with them before marriage). After I got married, my MIL suddenly became very demanding, rude, or I would say controlling. (And I didn’t take a cent of her money, I didn’t take any dowry though I deserved it (to me it equates having to listen to your MIL if you take their money/things, as my MIL mentioned also), didn’t use my PIL’s money for house renovation).

Though I settled my MIL already (no longer allowing her to mess with me), my experience with her somehow still affected how I interact with people now, II became very protective of myself and would literally revenge anyone who tries to step on my boundaries.

Of course, my partner also does not behave like how he used to be anymore because the mother pitted him against me (which is understandable, since she likes to create chaos in people’s life, she loves creating drama and watching it, the whole extended family became broken apart because of her doings and endless gossiping).

Though my partner has an admirable career, he also took up many hobbies which are not compatible with his social status. Which somehow affected my mood also, as a result, I always have self-doubt – doubting how come I have chosen this person to be my husband, even though he was my only boyfriend since young. I still love him of course, otherwise, I wouldn’t have still stayed with him.


Moving ahead, I feel like I am just gonna deal with it. Not complain anything to him about what I don’t like about him/MIL, ignore everything I don’t like about him, only look at whats good about him (and ignore my overwhelming MIL), and be sure to make a better choice in my next life.

Ranting here won’t change anything, but still, these thoughts need to be let out, somewhere, somehow.

My conclusion for my life is – If you think you’ve married the wrong person, just suck thumb and live with it.

Don’t tell me otherwise. Either way, people are going to criticize your choice.

This is life.

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