Me (F18) slept with an married man (M34) – Have I ruined a family?
Advertisements
I didn’t know that he was still married. He told me that he was single and he was impossible to stalk. He didn’t tell me anything about a family but he insisted for me to go to his place and not opposite which I didn’t completely understand why…
Until I saw that he has a kid. I asked him question and he said “yes, but we are divorced and it’s his turn to be at my house so we have to keep quiet”.
After all that… when he went to the toilet, I opened the closet… female clothes. I feel horrible. I did t know anything about that. I just wanted a one-night-stand.
I do know that the age gap was a red flag but I just ignored it. Who’s fault is it actually?
Advertisements
Netizens’ comments
- You did nothing wrong except being young and easily fooled by a master manipulator. Just do yourself a favor and cut contact with him . And if at all possible let his wife know but I am going to bet you don’t even know his real last name
- Yeah I’d say you didn’t really do anything wrong since you didn’t know. If anyone ruined a family, it’s him
- If I were in your shoes, the first thing I would ask myself is why is a 34 year old man chasing me? Then, I would automatically assume that he is married or has kids. I don’t necessarily blame you for the situation but 75% + men his age are married/ divorced with kids. You were very gullible.
- Well, you’re certainly ruining your life, that’s for sure. Not only because it’s a married man, but also due to the age gap and you’re only 18 (yes, by law you’re an adult, but that’s still very young).
- his and stop sleeping with older men because it’s either they are secretly married or they are creeps. Tell his wife (slip a note in something she’d daily be checking but not easy enough and in plain sight so that he can see it) and be done with it. She deserves to know that her husband is being unfaithful with a kid in the home. And stop sleeping with him.
- Im a 33 year old guy. I was gonna type some stuff out to help you understand how scary that age gap can be is… But man, it’s too long winded and im tired.
Just know this. At 18, you might think youre smart. You are. You have the fastest mental processing you’ll ever have.
However, you dont have enough life experiences. By your 30s. You’ve slowed down (slightly) but your skillset is much more extensive (usually) not just in things like how to apply make up or how to clean your room, but in managing stress, managing people, recognizing danger, etc…
This means in your 30s, your capacity for BOTH good and evil is much higher.
This person may or may not be dangerous to you, but do you really want to find out with somebody you have already realized is lying to BOTH you and probably his wife? The risks are just a lot higher.
In terms of fault, why would it be your fault? You wanted to spend time with someone you were attracted to. You were working with information that was incomplete. But if you continue, this is no longer true…
In terms of an age gap, it’ really up to you to decide what is good for you. But think long and hard about what an age gap means. Sleeping with a 35 year old at 18 is not the same as marrying one.